Finding the Right Stress Coach: 6 Essential Qualities to Seek

Stress therapy is often suggested to people who have been diagnosed with depression or an anxiety disorder, while stress coaching appeals to individuals interested in self-growth. Ultimately, the most important factor in stress relief and lowering cortisol levels is achieving results. If you are thinking of reaching out to a stress management coach, here are the six must-have qualities to look for.

1. They Can Demonstrate Expertise

A stress coach should demonstrate expertise beyond just certifications and academic titles. When it comes to stress, coaches often make the mistake of focusing exclusively on coping strategies.

Having solid techniques to manage day-to-day stress is a necessary tool, and probably step one on your stress relief journey, especially if stress is interfering with day-to-day functioning. But ultimately the role of a stress coach is to find the root of your stress and eliminate it, not just help you manage it.

How will I know?

Ask them how they differentiate stress management vs. stress reduction. If they can’t give you distinct answers, it might be worth exploring other options.

Stress management & stress reduction are two different ball games

2. They Have a Growth Mindset

Effective stress management coaches naturally possess a growth mindset. This means, they can see the bigger picture. Successful stress coaches not only aim for immediate stress relief but also for an exit plan. The ultimate goal of the best stress coaches is to make themselves redundant by creating a new you with a lower stress baseline that is manageable without the constant help of a professional.

How will I know?

When you ask “How long does it take for stress coaching to work?”, they should provide estimates based on their success with previous clients similar to you.

3. They Are Outcome-Focused

A key technique of every effective coach is the ability to visualise the desired end result. This is particularly challenging in cases of stress management, because a stressed client is unlikely to have the clarity to see how stress-free life could be. That’s where the skills of a good stress coach come in.

Successful stress coaching starts with a well-defined goal

Practical ways of defining the end result involve real-life stress triggers. If a client experiences stress at home, a desired end result would be to remain calm when their partner makes those killer comments about their spending habits for example. If the stress is work-related, the desired end result could be the ability to speak up when the manager sets unrealistic deadlines.

How will I know?

You won’t even need to ask. A good stress reduction coach will set these goals from the start, while an average one may not consider it.

4. They Are Accountable

In dieting accountability falls on the client to follow through with willpower. In stress coaching accountability is on the coach. In effective stress coaching, accountability falls on the stress coach and their ability to find practical ways to measure progress. Here’s why. Stress is a reaction beyond our control, hence it’s not a matter of willpower.

Unlike dieting, in stress coaching accountability falls on the stress coach

If the stress coach is focused on eliminating the root causes of stress, then all that’s left for the client is to observe changes in their stress responses. This is often done by using a scale of 0 -10 to measure intensity. If for example, work-related stress on any given week fluctuates between 7 – 10, what would be considered progress is the reduction of that range to 5-8. An experienced stress coach will also be able to prepare you for what to anticipate.

Here’s a real client story of mine. Derek had recently started a new job. He was so stressed about passing probation that he had to smoke half a packet of cigarettes before entering the office. When he realised, he was heading for burnout, that’s when he contacted me for stress therapy.

It soon became clear that not only he was worried about his performance, he was also mega angry at his new colleagues, who he felt were unsupportive. Once we cleared anger with eft tapping, I warned him that other strong emotions might come up for a while.

Stress and anxiety are often blanket statements. Once you dig deeper, you usually find other emotions: fear, sadness, anger, shame.

The next day he smoked one cigarette with his morning coffee and was relaxed around his colleagues. He even gave one of them a genuine compliment about how they handled a project, but felt deeply sad for no specific reason. He got scared that he might have exchanged stress for depression, but then remembered my warning and remained calm. Two days later, the wave of sadness was gone.

How will I know?

A good stress coach addresses the root of your stress and encourages you to observe your reactions, rather than relying on willpower to handle stressful situations.

5. They Are a Good Listener

One of the most common mistakes made by coaches and therapists worldwide is judgement. By that, I don’t necessarily mean name-calling. Losing patience because the client doesn’t “get it” is all it takes for trust to be broken. When listening to a stressed person talking about their problems, it is easy for an outsider to see the logical solutions. The stress reduction coach is calm and can speak from a place of clear logic.

Successful stress coaches are experts at navigating somebody smoothly from emotion to logic

The stressed person, on the other side, is caught up in an emotional spate and logic does not make sense. Successful stress coaches are experts at listening and navigating a stressed person from a heightened emotional state to a calmer one, where logical thinking is accessible again.

How will I know?

This may take some time. If your stress coach rushes you to adopt a point of view that doesn’t resonate with you, they may not the best listeners.

6. They Have Strong Moral Ethics

Effective stress coaching often creates a bond between the coach and the client. Many clients fall in love with their coach because of that. It’s the nature of human attachment. The responsibility to protect the integrity of the coaching process is the sole responsibility of the coach and requires extreme care due to the power imbalance.

How will I know?

I hope you won’t have to find out. In the meantime, I highly recommend watching “A Dangerous Method”, a brilliant, historically-inspired drama that explores the relationship between Carl Jung and one of his female patients.

Eft Tapping for Stress Relief with Dafni

Eft tapping is one of the fastest ways to reduce stress and maintain it long-term, because it targets stress at its source - the body, not the mind. Instead of “talking about it”, I aim at the root of the problem.

The goal is to get my clients to shrug off situations that typically stir up stress and anxiety. The main work happens during the tapping sessions and I also train them in using tapping by themself to manage daily stresses. The results are nothing less than astonishing. Here’s what clients who worked with me have to say. See more reviews here.

If you are interested in giving it a go, simply book a free intro zoom call and we’ll take it from there.